Humans have unlimited wants and desires. We're constantly craving things in our lives, and we satisfy these cravings the best way we know how. Misguided, these cravings can lead us to addiction and ruin. But guided rightly, these cravings can lead us to unimaginable new heights. Our cravings and desires are GOOD THINGS. We experience cravings because we have a deep desire for better than what we have now. Understanding why a craving exists, and then putting in place the right action to satisfy it, is how we become masters of our habits. We use these cravings as a driver for success in every aspect of our physical lives. But first, we need to look at what we're craving and why we crave it.
You have wants and desires. I don't know what you want or desire, but I do know that you want and desire something. Likely you want and desire many things, and the truth of the matter is that you will never satisfy them all. You are constantly craving, looking for relief and satisfaction, seeking fulfillment, pursuing pleasure, or avoiding pain. It's what drives everything you do. Why do you eat ice cream? Because it tastes good and, at least for a moment, it will make you happy. This constant yearning for happiness and satisfaction is what drives everything you do. When you experience happiness, it quickly fades and you find yourself again in search of the things that will make you happy.
On the surface, this sounds shallow and terrible. Why would we want our lives to be controlled by our cravings? Well, our cravings are not bad, AT ALL. Our cravings are our true self trying to come out. Cravings are how our bodies tell us that something is missing or that something needs to be done. Cravings tell us when we need more or less of something. A craving is only bad when we let it get out of control and take us over. Addiction is an example of a craving getting out of control, but addiction is simply the result of a highly ingrained habit. The craving itself, when traced back to its root, is likely just the true craving to be happy. An addict wants to be happy every bit as much as a non-addict. The only difference is the routine put in place to satisfy the craving.
What Alcoholics Anonymous Gets Right
Alcoholics Anonymous is probably the most successful organization in the world at freeing people from the disease of alcoholism. The organization is so successful because of how effective it is at changing habits. There is certainly a reliance on God, which is explicitly stated by everyone in AA, but once you have surrendered to a higher power, allowing God to work in you through the power of habit change is when you start to see tangible progress.
Notice I didn't say that the twelve-step program is rooted in habit removal. No alcoholic has ever dropped the habit of drinking without adding in a new habit to take its place. The craving an alcoholic experiences for a drink is far too powerful to simply be suppressed. To ignore the craving and not satisfy it in some way is virtually impossible. There must be a new routine in place before the old routine of drinking can finally disappear. Ask any alcoholic — the craving is not gone. The queue to drink is still there and may be there for the rest of their life. But they can now channel the craving into a new routine and experience the same level of satisfaction. It doesn't happen overnight, because to an alcoholic, there's nothing quite like the satisfaction of a drink. But once the routine is changed, a new level of satisfaction can be experienced.
Ninety meetings in ninety days is a staple of the twelve-step program. Why? Because the routine of drinking is so ingrained that it will likely take at least ninety days to begin the shift to a new routine. An AA meeting often serves as this new routine — a healthy way to channel the craving to drink. Find an AA meeting near you and go sit in for a night. I promise you will find at least one person in that meeting who hasn't had a drink in the last five years. Five years without a drink, and they still feel the need to show up for meetings and still call themselves an alcoholic in recovery. Why? Someone who has been going to AA meetings for this long is someone who understands the power of habit. They know just how important it is to have a good routine in place when cravings hit.
The same is true for you with your habits. At first it will be hard, and that's when we need our willpower. But eventually, the new routine will be so ingrained that it will lead to the same satisfaction the destructive habit led to — probably much more satisfaction, like the alcoholic. It takes time, but it works.
